How to Tell If a Girl Likes You Even Though She Already Has a Boyfriend

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Dating coach Eddy Baller explains how to tell if she’s into you or just friendly

Co-authored by John Keegan and Bertha Isabel Crombet, PhD

Last Updated: November 6, 2025 Fact Checked

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Signs She Likes You

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What to Do About It

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You can’t always control who you develop feelings for. Even if you don’t want to, you can end up developing a crush on a girl who has a boyfriend, creating a potentially sticky situation. Figuring out if the feelings are reciprocated can be tricky, which is why we’ve compiled a list of telltale signs you can look for to know if she likes you back. Plus, we’ll share expert advice from dating coaches on how to know if she's into you and what to do about it.

Signs She Likes You But Has a Boyfriend

Dating coach Eddy Baller explains that unless a girl makes the first move, you shouldn’t assume she’ll leave her boyfriend for you. However, she may be flirting with you if she touches you, has flirty body language, or laughs at your jokes. She might also speak poorly of her boyfriend or seem unhappy around him.

Section 1 of 2:

Signs She Likes You

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She playfully touches you. While touch is generally a good indicator of attraction, you still need to figure out if it is friendly or flirty. She could just be giving you a friendly pat on the shoulder, or she might be trying to communicate that she is interested in you. The length of the touch matters, too. Was the touch a quick brush or does her hand linger for a few seconds? If she kept her hand on your arms for more than just a few moments, she’s likely into you.^{[1]
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- Dating coach John Keegan says that if she is “initiating physical contact” and there’s “lots of touching,” she’s probably flirting with you.^{[2]
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  John Keegan
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  Expert Interview}
- The spot where she touches you could also reveal what the touch means. Touching your shoulder might be something she does with friends, whereas touching your hand or face could hint that she is interested in you.
- Notice if she reciprocates your touch. If you give her a hug and she leans into it, she might like you. If she seems uncomfortable and pulls away from the hug, she’s likely not interested.^{[3]
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- Baller cautions against reading too much into things: “A girl might flirt, laugh at your jokes, or give you attention, but none of that means much until something actually happens. The only real proof is when she makes a move, agrees to hang out, or shows consistent interest beyond casual conversation.”^{[4]
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Meet the wikiHow Experts

Eddy Baller is a dating coach and the owner of Conquer and Win, a dating consulting and coaching service based in Vancouver, Canada. He's also the author of How Intelligent Men Find Love Offline.

John Keegan is a dating coach and motivational speaker based in New York City. With over 15 years of professional experience, he uses his expertise in dating, attraction, and social dynamics to help people find love.

Connell Barrett is a dating coach based in New York City. He has over five years of experience as an international coach who helps men connect with women by unlocking their best, true, most confident selves.
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She displays open and flirty body language. If she turns her body toward you and points her feet your way, she could be interested. Touching her hair and neck are signs that she is feeling nervous around you and might be interested in you.^{[5]
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- If she gives you space when she talks to you, she might not like you.
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You lock eyes often. If she likes you, she won’t be able to help but look at you. If you notice a lot of eye contact from her when you talk to her, she might be interested in you. If you know she is the kind of girl to gets shy and nervous, she might be doing the opposite and not looking at you at all. This could also mean she likes you.^{[6]
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- Keegan notes that “strong eye contact” is a surefire sign that she likes what she sees… which is why she keeps looking.^{[7]
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She initiates conversations. Pay attention to your online and in-person interactions. If she always sends you texts or Snapchats about her day-to-day activities or asks you about yourself, she might be interested. If she only texts you once a month to ask about school or work, maybe not. Keegan says that if “she's very warm to you, and there's a definite connection and rapport,” there could also be “mutual attraction.”^{[8]
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John Keegan
Dating Coach

Expert Interview}
- If she never sends you texts or messages on social media, it’s still possible that she may like you, but isn’t reaching out because she has a boyfriend.
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She makes an effort to learn more about you. If she asks you about your life and interests and tells you about hers, she might be interested in you. If she goes out of her way to talk to you and give you attention, she might like you. Is she speeding up to catch up with you and talk to you, or does she only talk to you if you happen to be near each other? If she seems to be going out of her way to talk to you and show you attention, she might like you. ^{[9]
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- If your conversations consist only of basic day-to-day small talk (“How was your weekend?” or “It is really warm out today.”), she might not like you, although it could also mean she is too nervous to ask you anything deeper.
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She laughs at everything you say. If she genuinely seems like she is having fun with you—teasing you, joking around with you, and laughing at your jokes—she might like you.^{[10]
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- If she is always really serious around you, she might not like you. It could just mean she is shy or not a humorous person, but often girls joke around with guys they like.
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She seems unhappy around her boyfriend. If she always looks miserable with him, then maybe there is room in her heart to develop feelings for someone else. Keegan adds that the term “boyfriend” itself is pretty “elusive.” For example, he explains that “boyfriend” could mean that she and her man have “been together for 3 years and live together and [are] thinking about getting married,” or it could be “some guy [she met] two weeks ago.”^{[11]
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John Keegan
Dating Coach

Expert Interview}
- A more serious relationship might mean that she’s fully committed and not interested in anyone else, while a less serious relationship could be an open door for you.
- Paying attention to how she acts around her boyfriend might help you figure out how she feels about you. If every time she is with her boyfriend, she has a huge smile on her face, it might be a sign for you to forget her and move on.
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She speaks badly about her boyfriend. If she has never brought him up or only says negative things about him, her feelings for him could be fading. If the opposite is true and she can’t stop swooning over how wonderful he is, it likely means she only has eyes for him. Of course, it can be complicated in certain situations because it is possible to have feelings for more than one person.
- If she says, “Tanner bought me roses yesterday and we are going out to dinner tonight! He is the best boyfriend,” it might be best not to meddle in their relationship.
- If she says things like, “Tanner and I got in a huge fight last night because we never do anything together,” her heart might not be all in the relationship.

Section 2 of 2:

Figuring Out If You Should Make a Move

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Decide if pursuing her is worth it. Before you ask her how she feels about you, figure out what you want first. Do you just want to sleep with her one time and never speak again, or are you in love with her? If you don’t have genuine feelings for her, it is probably not worth your time or hers to try to pursue her. If you genuinely like her, then it might be worth asking her how she feels about you.^{[12]
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- Baller says it’s usually not worth pursuing a girl who has a boyfriend. “Most of the time, it’s a waste of emotional energy and can create unnecessary drama. But there are rare exceptions, like when her relationship is clearly falling apart, or she tells you directly that she’s unhappy and thinking of leaving.”^{[13]
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- Even if she’s thinking of leaving, Baller cautions against jumping in too quickly: “Stay grounded, keep your standards high, and let her make the first move to end things before you step in.”^{[14]
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- Dating coach Connell Barrett agrees: “There's no reason to pursue someone who's in a relationship. There are lots of fish in the sea.” He adds, “Maybe there's a friendship there. You could even change your strategy if you think, ‘Oh, this is just a cool, interesting woman I might want in my life.’ Maybe she'll be a wing woman for you!”^{[15]
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- Reader Poll: We asked 468 wikiHow readers and 71% of them agreed that they wouldn’t cheat with someone who’s currently in a relationship. [Take Poll]
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Let her know that you are interested if you decide to pursue her. If you feel like you have established a connection with her and feel confident that she might like you back, ask her how she feels. This can be stressful and nerve-racking, but worth it to finally have a clear answer. Be confident, but also be understanding that this is a delicate situation, and you might be putting her in an awkward spot.^{[16]
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- Remember: even if she has been flirting with you, it does not mean she must not love her boyfriend.
- Try saying something like, “I know you have a boyfriend, and I don’t want to get in the way of that, but I just wanted you to know that I have developed feelings for you. I completely understand that you are committed to someone else, but I want you to know that if you weren’t, I would want to date you.”
- Give her plenty of time to think about what you tell her and to navigate her feelings.
EXPERT TIP

John Keegan
Dating Coach
John Keegan is a Dating Coach and motivational speaker based in New York City. With over 10 years of professional experience, he runs The Awakened Lifestyle, where he uses his expertise in dating, attraction, and social dynamics to help people find love. He teaches and holds dating workshops internationally, from Los Angeles to London and from Rio de Janeiro to Prague. His work has been featured in the New York Times, Humans of New York, and Men's Health.

John Keegan
Dating Coach

If your intuition tells you she wants something more, be direct and ask her about it. If she frequently initiates physical touching and gives you intense eye contact, it can mean she likes you and feels drawn to you. It can also mean she would like your relationship to go further, and you need to act.
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Accept whatever she decides. If you share your feelings with her and she says she is not interested, accept and respect her choice. Barrett encourages you to respond to her politely by saying something along the lines of, “I totally respect that you're dating somebody,” and backing off.^{[17]
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Connell Barrett
Dating Coach

Expert Interview} Continuing to pursue her after she’s expressed being committed to her boyfriend is disrespectful. Give her space and move on. If you are both comfortable with it, you can continue being friends later on.^{[18]
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Cleveland Clinic
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- On the other hand, if she is into you and decides to break up with her boyfriend, give her space to process things. Take your relationship slow!

Join the Discussion...

How can you tell if a girl likes you?

WikiBandicootTrader459

How do you know if someone likes you? There’s this girl at school I like, and I think she likes me, but I can’t really tell. I don’t want to ask her to be my girlfriend if she’s just going to say no. Do I ask her if she likes me over text? Or do I just look for big signs?

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I like a girl who likes me back, but she has a boyfriend. What do I do?

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If you know that she has feelings for you back, but she is still with her boyfriend, then talk to her. You need to explain to her how you feel about her, but how you won't be with someone who is in a relationship with someone else. Then it is up to her to decide if she wants to be with you or stay with her boyfriend.

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The girl I like has a boyfriend, but she never mentions him. It seems like she likes me, but how do I tell for sure?

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If you think it is possible that she likes you back, even though she has a boyfriend, you can ask her about it. Bring up to her that you are interested, but tell her you respect her and that she has a boyfriend. If she says she does not like you back, then give her space.

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